Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Chemical Overload

"Viagra works, but chocolate works better"...
So said an article in the Philippine Daily Inquirer last week.
I read through it - absorbing every word as my eyes swelled with tears.
Could it be?
Yes - scientific evidence shows that chemicals in chocolate stimulate your sex drive to higher than normal levels .
After all these years - here finally was the explanation as to why I am what I am. It is not a "personality disorder" (manyakiszophrenia) that I suffer from. I am after all, just a poor victim of chemical overload ...

You see I am a ChocNut abuser.
I grew up on ChocNut. Hanggang ngayon nangungupit ako ng ChocNut sa reception desk ng Basement Salon everytime I have a haircut. When I buy medicine sa Mercury Drug kasama na ang ChocNut sa nabibili ko . Pati ChocNut ice cream sa Uva Restaurant sa Greenbelt, pinatulan ko na.

Bata pa ako - ChocNutter na ako.
Every time I ate ChocNut it was orgasmic -(di ko pa nga alam nuon kung ano yung orgasm). Ngayon adult na ako , alam ko na - yung asawa ko hanggang ngayon di pa niya alam - kawawa naman ...) But I digress .......

There is an art to eating ChocNut.
You have a choice of breaking it into pieces lengthwise or into small squares.
Madali yung lengthwise kasi may linya - pag small blocks , minsan nadudurog.
Then yung nadurog, you can reshape with your fingers parang "booger" (pero masarap, hindi maalat).
Or pwede din dilaan mo yung foil hanggang mgkandasugat-sugat na yung dila mo.
You can then chew the ChocNut or let it melt in your mouth.

The real high is pag dumidikit yung ChocNut to the roof of your mouth. Then the challenge is how to use your tongue to dislodge it. Parang ahas yung dila mo kung saan-saan sulok nakaka-abot. Even pag ubos na yung ChocNut, the taste lingers in your mouth kasi yung naipit in between your teeth parang timed release ang tunaw for the next hour.

I have eaten so much ChocNut in my life that even my "nuts" are chocolate colored - hence the name ChocNut.

So ladies - if you bump into me and I happen to be eating ChocNut ... remember thats probably my last piece. The lump in my pants aint' ChocNut ....

Can I buy you a drink?