Thursday, July 26, 2007


I was watching CNN
There was a feature on tainted Chinese food products
There was mention of formaldehyde, cardboard, exotic animal parts and other yuckies mixed into food products...
Such revelations can be very scary.
My heart started racing ...
My forehead accumulated droplets of sweat
My mind went into a tailspin ...

Was I in danger?
I - who had spent my lifetime addicted ...
Horribly addicted to "KIAMOY"

Kiamoy also known as "red champoy" is a Chinese dried plum, coated with a reddish powder that is extremely salty and sour in a sweet way.
It is a catalyst for salivation.
Just the sight of it or even the thought of it would get my juices going
I would make the rounds of groceries, Aji Ichibans, or even 7-11s till I would find a bag of this precious gem.

Hiding it like a thief in the dark lest anyone tickle my conscience to share it, I would sit in a corner of my bed before sleeping and start...

Slowly ..
First the "winged" portion -little by little
I would keep small bites in my mouth savoring the salty sourness
Patiently I would denude the kiamoy taking my sweet time undressing it to its bareness with my tongue
I would then suck it dry
And in my aggressive moments - I would even crack the seed to get to the weirdly tasting kernel in the middle.

When my patience would run out, I would simply pop a whole in my mouth and suck till it hurt
I would drown it in saliva
And my face would contort into a crumpled look that would clearly have deserved a "picture of the day" award

After a few pieces, my tongue would feel like it had cuts all over it
But that never stopped me
I would go right on and hurt myself even more -
Ang asimmmmmmmmmmmm

My tongue would turn crimson orange over time
And so would my fingers from which I would lick the vestiges of kiamoy powder that would cling to it
Pretty soon ... all my fingers would turn into different shades of orange

The one thing I cannot understand is that when I wake up in the morning , even my balls are colored orange ....
And slightly powdery at that.

I had long accepted that what gave kiamoy its unique saltiness was that in the process of making it, it is baked in a china man's armpit for a few minutes before it is glazed with an elixir of sourness made from the same china man's sweat...
It is therefore "organic"
Therefore healthy

The heck with CNN
No one is gonna take my kiamoy away

Kiamoy@Aji Ichiban